Unity in Diversity - 4/5 2003

2006-07-14T23:01:00.000+08:00

alrightey.

our dearest ekavit is coming to singapore.he'll be here from 31 july to 4 aug.ruebini is trying to organise a reunion here.so it's a gd opportunity to meet up and catch up with each other.it will be a dinner on 1st aug.venue is nt yet confirmed.i noe this blog is dead bt further notices abt the reunion will be posted here.so jst refer to this blog.we'll confirm the time and venue asap.it will be a halal place so dun worry.yup.chao.

Things You Never do on Tekong Resort

2006-04-01T22:54:00.000+08:00

Things you never do on Tekong ~~Island~~ Resort.

Salute a sergeant
I guess someone will tell you to knock it down.
Never salute an officer
You always salute an officer, commonly known as 'Sir' to you, Maximilan, Lan, John blah blah blah to the rest of his peers.
Shine your torch light on the trees
Common mistake for those people who have nothing else better to do. Especially the previous batch in Ulysses Coy, when some asshats I know of actaully tried that stunt.
Look for things that don't look for you
Unless you know how to de-ghost yourself, and have access to a Kuran, a Bible, a chain of Buddhist beads, a truckful loads of joss sticks and candles.
Run away from things that look for you
Don't be rude. Talk to that nice lady with the lovely kid who walk along the corridor. Offer your hand. "HI!! I'm Shawn! Since when did you come?" OK. She might look just a little whitish, but that's common for civilians who are not used to the food from the cookhouse. And like I said, don't be rude.
Be late
This is one hellofa mistake. Not only do you renew your chances of taking walks at night in the huge park, you also get lots of chances to meet new people that you don't usually see, like that fisherman in yellow boots you spied walking along the beach in the evenings.
Wank
Unless you are a girl (which in any case you probably won't be on Tekong Resort) and you can excite yourself to the point of orgasm without causing much mess, don't EVER try to touch your dick excessively other than to clean your genitals for hygiene purposes.
Expose your butt crack too much
Nudists asides, I know it's kinda cool to remove heat from your butt by taking off your pants. However, you risk being poked. The second batch, ie, my batch hasn't heard of any new cases of gayism, but I think you shouldn't risk it.
Be anti-friendly
Asshats who refuse to do anything rarely are popular. Volunteer to do simple stuffs like carrying your night snacks to your platoon from your platoon office. Besides, this increases your cookie counts.

List goes on. I'll be back to stuff more here.

Update

2006-04-01T19:57:00.000+08:00

Well well looks like time for a status update for our dear servicemen.

Me - Automotive Technician. Now trainee at SAF OETI (Ordnance Engineering Training Institute or Only Eat, Talk, Idle). We do lots of screwing (bolts), banging (nails) and fingering (the electronic switches) as well as eating and growing fat.

Jin Rong - Signaller. Think he's going to some signals institute then some SAR camp up north. Good for him cos he with like half of his BMT mates as well as the only female in our BMT batch.

PS. are you one of those waving flags or those running up hills with some heavy signals set?

Hau Kim - Currently posted to a stay-in unit in a camp called home. No posting for him cos SAF computers screwed up. Lucky bastard...

Rais - BRTC @ Jalan Bahar. Busy saving dummies-in-distress and enjoying the good foor there. Look on the bright side dude, although you cant play with rifles, at least you dont have to do CPR on each other like us chao recruits in BMT do...

Yuheng - SISPEC. Wow our only commander around. 26 weeks in there... in case you do not already know, SISPEC also stands for "Suffer In Silence Plus Extra Confinement". Everyone pay compliments to sergeant for all the shit he's going to go through...

Vijayendran S/O Kanakalingam - BMTC, Eagle Coy. Yes he will still be ~~(literally)~~ stuck inside for some time. In case you guys have not met him in Tekong yet, let me assure you that he is still as prominent as before, in fact quite a bit more than before.

Junxian - BMTC, Bronco Coy. The last time he replied to my messages, he appeared to have been badly tortured by his warrant officer PCs. Umm lol? Good luck brother, warrant officers are actually just the tip of the tekan iceberg...

Hasyir, Kai Xiang - I dunno... can update me or this blog pls?

Others - All enlisting soon. Welcome aboard!

"Training to be soldiers, fight for our land... Once in our lives, two years of our time..."

That's all for now, correct me if any of the above info is wrong. Till the next post, see ya!

Unity in Diversity - 4/5 2003

2006-03-25T16:39:00.000+08:00

Unity in Diversity - 4/5 2003

Hello everybody. I know this blog's pretty much dead, so I'll just post something. Well, the girls are gg uni, the guys are either enlisted, soon-to-be-enlisted, or have been posted to their separate vocations. We shld meet up some time soon, n invite Mrs Lawrence along, as it's been some time since we last did so... So any ideas???
And btw for the guys posted out to units or vocations, pls add in ur vocation n unit...

Sequel: How To Handle Fever

2005-12-31T21:31:00.000+08:00

Feeling hot on the inside while shivering? Tough luck, it's fever (again). Almost anything that can go wrong with your body results in fever so much so that some people cannot tell that they are having fever when in fact they are burning down the house. Here are a few cheap methods to cure fever.

1) Water

Description:

Water helps everything.

Instructions:

Drink lots of water till you wanna puke (usually abt 0.75 to 1.5 litres). Rest for 15 mins then continue for 3 to 5 repetitions or even more if you want to.

Side effects:

Toilet, toilet, toilet, toilet and an unpleasant sensation in the mouth due to the great taste of plain water on a feverish tongue.

Effectiveness:

4.5

2) Pills

Description:

Panadol helps almost everything.

Instructions:

Very idiot proof. Just follow instructions given on the box. Can also be used in conjuction with the water method.

Side effects:

Some people claim they feel sleepy after popping the pills. Zzz. Great as an excuse though.

Effectiveness:

4.5

3) Cooling method

Description:

A not-so-popular method but nevertheless widely in use anyway.

Instructions:

Many ways to accomplish this. Take a cold shower or stand right in front of a fan/aircon or going to sleep half/fully-naked. Desperate (and highly unrecommended) version: take a cold shower and stand in front of fan/aircon while dripping wet then go to sleep with an icy towel on forehead.

Side effects:

Severe shivering and possibly a dripping nose as well. Most people also find it hard to sleep while oscillating in severe discomfort.

Effectiveness:

Highly variable.
-1 to 3.5

4) Heating method

Description:

Borrowed from traditional Chinese methods.

Instructions:

Gulp down some hot drink (water, herbal tea, wadever). Take a hot shower and go to bed dry with two long sleeve shirts, two long pants and curl up under two blankets. If you wake up to find yourself wet from head to toe, congrats. If not, you would probably feel like a baked potato instead.

Side effects:

Little

Effectiveness:

-2 or 3.5

5) Exercise

Description:

Same rationale as the heating method, that is, to "expel the heat".

Instructions:

Simple, go downstairs and run round the neighbourhood. Alternatively, go throw a few small stones at a stray dog.

Side effects:

Possibility of feeling giddy / very sore leg muscles / vomitting / collasping.

Effectiveness

1 to 3

6) Mind over matter

Description:

Never underestimate the power of the human brain.

Instructions:

Tell yourself you are not going to die and carry out your activities as usual but put in 150% effort so that bosses / superiors / anyone else cannot tell the difference in you. But if your temperature is above 40.0 then please please please do not act hero or you are seriously going to die.

Side effects:

A great sense of achievement and boost in ego.

Reliability:

3

7) "Prickly Heat"

Description:

An example of what you should not do. Tried and tested by yours truly.

Instructions:

Cover yourself in a layer of Prickly Heat until you look like an albino or a ghost.

Side effects:

Burn baby burn!

Effectiveness:

-2

Ok that concludes this lenghty instalment.

How to Handle Hay Fever 101

2005-12-16T11:01:00.000+08:00

You notice when you don't go out and play hockey, floorball, soccer, taichi (it's a sport??) ...aiyah, any outdoor sports, your nose get a bit itchy at first, then finally, you get those irksome full blown hay fever when you keep sneezing through out the morning and don't stop till it's the evening or until you get a hot drink in the late morning? Here's a small guild to stopping these nose-wrenching sickness once and for all. Ratings (out of an excellent 5*s) are recommended.

1. Surgery

Provided you have some disposable cash, I rather consider this option as an investment. Besides getting a valuable two weeks worth of MCs, the effect is permenant, non-obtrusive. According to reliable sources, this option involves cutting a flab that irritates the membrance, buring off some hairs inside the nostril and a small number of stitches to replace everything that was torn apart. Included a minute amount of pain for a few hours when paracetemol is not administered.

Rating:

2. Steaming

There facial therapy procedures, that provides temporary relieve. This process involves steaming of the entire face, while the nose takes in a certain amount of warm moisture that wets the nose cavity. During the steaming process, you will experience a certain amount of dripping of mucus. Do enjoy this sensation as your nose feels relief. Be sure to collect the mucus in a bowl to prevent your parents screaming at you for dirtying their floor. DO NOT DRINK THE BOWL'S CONTENTS.
Take note that this must not be done on a regular basis, that is, once every few hours. Recommended treatment frequency is once every 2 days.

Rating:

3. Exercising

Simple. Go out. Run. Jump. Skip. In the outdoors. Besides getting a breather from the mindless XBOX games whatyounot, you have thw birds and bees for company. Watch out for occasional snakes, squirrels, and bird droppings. Note that this treatment MUST be administered daily for life for effect to be lasting. Next best option to option (1).

Rating:

4. Nose removal

Use parang. Sharp one. One accurate swipe at the nose bridge will remove the problem once and for all. Be sure to aim properly, lest you skin off your eyebrows.

Rating:

Disclaimer:
1.Please note that above recommendations are not gareng-teed effective.
2.Any side effects will not be entertained by the author. 3.In case of any medical bills that arosed from any stupid users trying anyting wrong, please refer to your nearest authorised insurance agents.

2005-12-13T10:09:00.000+08:00

in order to save this blog from being in comatose, i shall post some photos. haha we really need a tagboard ppl. i dun really check the comments. but in this case i did. so here you go!

there's your 'prom queen'. i'm just glad he's wearing pants for a change..

COME ONE PEOPLE! KEEP UP THE POSTS! wad's happening in your lives? i know some went in already but the rest? keep this blog alive 4/5!!

Prom

2005-12-02T12:59:00.000+08:00

YJ prom photos. Of me, of course.

woot

2005-11-30T21:47:00.000+08:00

hahaha anyone here plays dota and wants to have a match against ac ppl? lol.

Be Safe

2005-11-27T23:23:00.000+08:00

This the season to be jolly, lalalalala-lalalala. Attention all children. The season to make love is here again. (If you're single, shaddap and listen. Why? Cos I'm lecturing, that's why!)

Alright. The season to be hanky-panky is here again. The weather is cold, obviously we have to put our hands somewhere, right? What better place to warm those frosty fingers than in that lovely chick's [ fill in blanks here ] ?

We don't want to end up having results that we least expect after that stunt, do we? So the lesson today is Better Be Safe Than Be Sorry.

This lil' piece of thingy could be your life-saver

Fortunately for you kids who haven't reached the legal age to do everything legally, 7-11 is here to help. All leading brands of male contraceptives are sold at your nearest 7-11 convinience. You shouldn't worry even if you and your partner are barely out of primary school. The ~~not-so~~ friendly store keepers are always willing to ignore a 13 year old buying a packet of condoms.

Oh yeah. And remember not to buy those cheap Made-In-China condoms which brand you'll never ever hear of in your entire life. They might have holes, which defeats the entire purpose of safe sex. (oops) Might as well buy a balloon or something, right? Spend the few dollars.

Be safe, kids! Class dismissed!

Another lecture proudly brought to you by fishy_fella.

relief teaching

2005-11-26T22:34:00.000+08:00

hahaha just a crazy idea of mine, but...

wanna go back anderson do relief teaching as one whole gang? HAHAHAHA.

i think it will be fun to put ourselves in our teachers' shoes for once =P

Violent Mood Swings

2005-11-26T22:32:00.000+08:00

There's an appropriate term for male mood swings. Not men-o-paused, I believe.

bleh

2005-11-24T22:34:00.000+08:00

hahaha i jez happened 2 reminisce of our beloved armpit hair advocate while i was applying deodorant on my hairy armpits...

adventitious roots are so absolutely disgusting.

speakin of which... i also gotta thank her 4 repeatedly criticizing my lack of mathematical ability, or i wudnt haf realized wad a wonderfully mathematical mind i reali had n gotten a1 for both maths hahaha.

oh well... been fun.

n i still tink voraphan's maths is betta than mine! (no honestly)

hahaa

2005-11-23T23:18:00.000+08:00

hello just dropping by :)
hmmm yeah have a reunion again!!
holiday time everybody should have time to go yea?
ahhh put up a tag board soon eh~
can chat easier..
tk care ppl..and enjoy!!

apologies

2005-11-23T22:31:00.000+08:00

hahaha to tell u e truth i not so skilled, dun reali noe html tt well so i'll need lyk frontpage if i wana use e skin heng has provided 4 me hehehe.

hmmmm for now, keep posting! ALL OF YOU.

and yes, computing is useless. luckily i'm done with it.

oh... btw, want a reunion any time soon guys?

Cambridge's Computing Syllabus

2005-11-23T09:25:00.000+08:00

Though I don't condem flaming, Pang~~sai~~'s doing it pretty early for a group blog that has less than 50 posts. You see, this pretty much desty our motto of

UNIVERSITY IN DIVERSITY

Evidence like:

"PS. Rais! Where's your pride as a computing student? Do something to show all the shit we learnt in class!"

Period. OMG. Computing's not for everyone. Infact, if I may change what I said, Cambridge's Computing is not for anyone. I mean, for goodness sake. Who the fk wants to learn how to do low level programming like C++ when there's higher programming language like SQL? Instead of moving on with life, we have to learn our roots --- quite literally. Start from scatch and things like that. Look at the syllabus, people. Look. The basic codes are already there, like how 1000 is eight in denary. Like how I should access a file and save another bloody file. Oh Guan Yin Ma! Is it really that hard to take what we have for granted and move on with something more advance, like editing an OS. Isn't it more practical to have hands on experience in something we ~~might~~ will have use in the real world? Who needs you to learn logical take-it-or-leave-it things like algorithms for a water fountain urinating in Botanical Gardens? Who needs you to memorise how a link-list works? Of course, you don't go around re-programming from scratch a library booking system and say a .... a ....cash register system.

It's there already!! A perfect system millions of people use! If I'm the system anaylst for the NLB, and some dickhead tells me:

OI! GET ME A BETTER BOOKING SYSTEM. NOW ONE AH! KEEP ON SPITTING PAPER AT THE CUSTOMER'S FACE!

Knnccb. Don't put paper inside lorh! So easy solution to a seemingly impossible situation. Don't like? Then I shutdown your server, give the hardware a good scolding for spitting paper at people --- in front of you --- then reinstall the current software lorh! cb bosses really should kiss their own backsides for giving impossible problems to solve. Simple! Now I can spit on the boss's official company photo.

So that's why we always take everything we learn in school with not just a pinch of salt --- we need bucketfull of salts. There was one time we quipped: The syllabus is more appropriately named as

Cambridge's Computng Syllabus

rather than

Cambridge Computing Syllabus

Really. I don't blame anybody if computing students really come out more blur to the computing world than when they started as students to learn how to design a game, create an antivirus software dah dah dah. Only the crazy people will say they'll be using anything from the stuff they 'learnt' to apply to real life.

OK. I went one big round to soot Pang. In another words, Pang is crazy. :)

Trip to Tekong

2005-11-22T21:33:00.000+08:00

Yes it's Tekong, the mysterious fabled isle shrouded in lush perennial greenery and concertina wires.

Here are some stuff that other people say.

Bring:

Lotsa underwear

Garters

Snake Powder (red one)

Slippers

Sleeping clothes (unless you like it airy)

Black tape

Very reliable numeric lock

Cheapo black rimmed specs

Hangars

Reasonable understanding of Hokkien

Do NOT Bring:

Camera phone

Expensive stuff

Food?

Redundant stuff (read: extra weight)

Shyness (read: bathroom business)

Garang-ness

Chao-Keng mentality

Pride

Feel free to append/add/comment.

PS. Rais! Where's your pride as a computing student? Do something to show all the shit we learnt in class!

Dood wth?

2005-11-22T16:47:00.000+08:00

hey dan look at that. ..
o.O wth is it doing?

So many...so many

2005-11-21T23:49:00.000+08:00

Read that over and over and over and over....Fast. FASTER!! Sounds like sodomy hor? :)

I'm updating 5 blogs are present. Including this. Can I pull a chair and pop corn from the pantry, sit down and watch the show? Please please please!!

*doe-eyed*

2005-11-21T21:49:00.000+08:00

yeah guys so how are all of u doing? dun mind i start the ball rolling since rais is bugging me to do so.. haha how's A's????? muahahaha sorry dun ask tt liao. we shld get together some time for another gathering yeah? how's life after A's? haha i'm busy preparing for yr2! and for my re-papers haha eh this time i fail math only k hahaha! =P eh colin u take tuition at caraven too is it? i tot i saw u there yesterday haha.. k lah tt's it dun wanna type so much. start posting guys!!

your blogs

2005-11-21T21:09:00.000+08:00

oh n btw, please notify if u have a blog and want it linked, cos the whole aim here is to have our own mini 4/5 web community. and as for the design... yuheng's on it, rest assured, you won't be disappointed =D

Calling all 4/5 2003 peeps!

2005-11-20T17:33:00.000+08:00

okok rais here. all 4/5 people, feel free to leave your e-mail addresses as comments if you wish to be part of this mini blogging community... all 4/5 03 students are invited to participate, so do not hesitate!

oh yeah, and as stupid as it sounds, i shall be the moderator here =)